Question

Conversation Style: Talking on the Job
DEBORAH TANNEN
Summary In this selection excerpted from her book Talking from 9 to 5, Deborah Tannen describes misunderstandings in the work place based on the different speaking styles of men and women. Tannen notes that most people blame miscommunication on the intentions, different abilities, and character of others, or on their own failure or the failure of the relationship. Miscommunication in the work place, however, often occurs between men and women because gender is a basic indicator of identity and because men and women learn different styles of speaking.
Tannen introduces an example of gender-based misunderstanding in which a female manager first uses praise then follows with suggestions to improve a male employee's substandard report. The manager thinks she is diplomatic; the employee mistakes her comments solely as praise and miscommunication occurs. When the revised report is submitted, few of the suggested changes appear, and the employee thinks the manager has been dishonest by first praising and now criticizing the report. The differences, argues Tanner, have to do with different styles of speaking. Men avoid being put in a one-down position by using oppositions such as banter, joking, teasing, and playful put-downs. Women seek the appearance of equality and try to avoid flexing their muscles to get jobs done. The misunderstandings occur when actors take each other's speaking styles literally.
The remainder of the selection deals with a particular male speaking style, the reluctance to ask directions. Women ask directions because it seems to be the fastest way to get things done. Men hesitate to ask questions, claiming that they develop their navigation skills by going at things independently. Tannen argues that men avoid asking questions because it puts them in a one- down position. Each style has its pitfalls. Male pilots or doctors who fail to ask questions may endanger their own or other people's lives. Female doctors and managers who ask too many questions may risk signaling that they are tentative or unsure of themselves.
Tannen concludes by saying that neither style is inherently wrong, just different, and that speakers should be aware of gender-based speaking styles and flexible in their own use of them.
In "Conversation Style: Talking on the Job," Tannen argues that most people blame misunderstandings on the ambivalence of words used by men and women when they talk at work.

Answer

This answer is hidden. It contains 1 characters.